yesterday...

the party was... ehr... let's talk about that later.

I decided to wear #1, basically because then I could have my accessory cuffs, but also because I felt a bit fat in #2. At least now I was unmistakably pregnant. This was also what I thought I would feel best about if we ventured out into the night-life, which was just about certain.
THANK YOU EVERYONE who gave me your opinion! It helped, it really did.

There was some ado about picking up people (since I was driving), involving a pouting dog deciding to go astray in protest. He came home when there was talk about the kitchen cabinet though.
We laughed a lot as we drove out to the last pickup, stopping on the way to drop off some kitchen cleaner at M, very appropriate since they seemed to be cleaning the house.
We had fun, sitting in the sun chatting at TT's place. It was an easy and laid back hour. Driving back to work/the party I laughed so much I got myself a tummy-ache.

The party itself started out fun, having "check-in" and "security checks". A bit of a flight theme with captain and stewardess. I admitted to be smuggling a stowaway....
Then came the "program"... A laughing-coach. Seriously? It all felt fake and shallow. I don't need to do the fake and shallow laughing, I laugh hearty (at myself mostly) just about every day. I sat the exercises out though, since my laughing-muscles were already aching. On the sideline was also J (laughing apparently hurts his broken arm, so he was also in pain from the car ride) and the Discohoppers (uhm, yeah, that's a work-joke) who just didn't wanna participate.

Then splitting up in the color-code on our flight-ticket for the seating. I ended up in company with people who shouldn't be sitting together, since they can't have fun on their own, they need triggers. And I didn't feel triggerish. I had already realized this would turn out the kind of party you needed to be drunk to enjoy. And I don't say that about parties very often.
Food was OK, same company as last year, thai food. Tasted great, but I wasn't really in the mood for thai... I ended up longing for lasagna... *LOL*

They also decided that red lights were the way to go, which was really straining for my eyes. The music doesn't even deserve to be called that. the local radio would have been better. This was before the DJ arrived, so just in the background. But if the party sucks you really need that music to be good.
I sat a lot on the outside. I felt outside a lot. I don't go up to people when sober. Well, my friends yes, but if people are having fun I don't just push myself on them uninvited. That's the main reason I say I needed to be drunk to have fun last night. When tipsy I'm a bit more pushy and actually join crowds, not caring if they don't want me there, if I wanna hang with them.

It got better (but LOUDER) after the DJ arrived, and I had some fun before the night was over. All in all, it was about as much fun I would have had at home in the couch. and I had promised to drive.
I was uncomfortable with some people there, mainly 'cos I have an issue with people who become a certain way when they're drunk. Those who get sleazy and... I don't really know how to describe it...
I guess I'm lucky none of my friends become like that.

I missed D a lot. Not because he always sees me, because he doesn't, but because I know I can always go sit beside him and belong. I don't need to be seen, but I really need to feel like I belong somewhere in a room to be comfortable. As long as I know that, then I don't even need to be there. Just to know that there's a safe harbor within reach.

Well well, I had bigger hopes for this last party with my co-workers, but since we had heard a lot beforehand, my expectations weren't high, so at least it wasn't a disappointment =)
Maybe there'll be an "outing" still before pup arrives, but I don't know... I think the sissy's are getting old, we don't rock it like we used to...